Marrying for Love

Marrying For Love?

Did you know that marrying someone for love is a recent phenomenon?

It’s not that people in the past did not marry because of love. There were those who did.  It just wasn’t the norm. Love has not always been the main motivation for marriage.

Think about it. Western culture, especially American,  is the one strongly pushing the concept of marrying for love. And yet, the rising rate of divorce and broken relationships seems to suggest that this concept may not be working.

Are there better reasons to marry? Companionship? Procreation?Partnership? Productivity? Spiritual compatibility? Economic advancement?

Today, we expect our life partner to fulfill all our emotional, psychological and social needs. Is this expectation really reasonable? Are couples unhappy because of having the wrong expectations?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you should just accept it if you are in an unhappy marriage. I’m just wondering whether we are looking for happiness in the right place.

Disappointment is the result of unmet expectations

What do you expect from your marriage?

2 thoughts on “Marrying For Love?”

  1. I’m confused. I define love as mutual respect, common goals and morale, mixed up with chemistry and certain amount emotional attachment. Isn’t that how well adjusted people see love? I think this is like when you wrote term papers in college and reworded definitions to fit your thesis.

    1. Hi Rilla,

      Actually, no. I’m not redefining love. I agree that all the things you have listed fit into the common understanding of what love is.

      The questions I’m asking are:
      Is this the only or main reason to get married?
      Is your spouse meant to be the only or main person who provides all these in your life?
      Is marrying only or mainly for this reason what makes a happy and long-lasting marriage?

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